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In May 2024. "Bachelorette" star Ryan Sutter accidentally triggered a media maelstrom with cryptic Instagram posts lamenting his apparently missing wife, Trista, including one wistful missive that read, "I'd really like to hear your voice ― just for a minute."
Bachelor Nation freaked out, fearing this paragon of reality show love — married for two decades — was splitting. Trista, 52, eventually broke through the noise to dispel the concern with a different reality drama. The OG Bachelorette had been in Wales, slogging through Fox's reality competition series "Special Forces: World's Toughest Test" with 15 other celebrities, including Cam Newton, Stephen Baldwin and Denise Richards.
"People are drawn to the sensational details. It's surprising how much attention this has received. I find myself asking, 'Why is everyone so invested in this?'" Sutter shared with USA TODAY regarding the public reaction. "I wasn't going through a divorce or experiencing a meltdown at home. I was having a breakdown while perched on a 300-foot bridge in Wales."
In Wednesday's episode, Sutter, whose time in the "Special Forces" came to an end, reflects on her journey filled with joy, sorrow, harsh realities, and completely fabricated stories.
Ryan Sutter's Instagram updates were like a loud declaration of his love for me.
Sutter had no knowledge of her husband's online activity and the controversy it ignited, as "Special Forces" instructors, including ex-U.S. Marine Rodolfo “Rudy” Reyes and former Royal Marine Commando Jason "Foxy" Fox, had taken away the celebrities' phones.
Her triathlete husband, a firefighter from Colorado, left her with final words brimming with motivational wisdom, such as, "Keep pushing forward until you feel pain."
"I tried not to dwell on my family too much, as it would just make me long to be home," Sutter shares, a parent to two kids, Maxwell, 16, and Blakesley, 15, with Ryan. "For him, Instagram was a loud declaration of his love for me. It may have seemed mysterious to others, but for me, it meant the world."
The physical challenges involving water, the loud and demanding instructors, the uncomfortable experience of sleeping on cots in damp clothes, and even the makeshift toilets were pressing concerns. "Special Forces" kicks off with a fast-moving boat where former SAS member Billy Billingham pushes each celebrity into the frigid waters, instructing them to swim to the shore. Sutter, who has a significant fear of deep water, admits, "I wasn't concerned about sharks or anything like that, which usually terrifies me. My only focus was reaching the shore. Drowning was my only fear."
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Trista Sutter decided to leave 'Special Forces: World's Toughest Test' due to personal reasons and the challenges she faced during the competition. While she initially aimed to push her limits and test her endurance, she ultimately felt that it was best for her to step back for her well-being.
Sutter boasts that she thrived in challenges such as leaping off a 30-story aqueduct while secured in a harness. She bravely tried (though unsuccessful) to leap onto a hovering helicopter from a fast-moving boat. However, her limits were tested during an exercise that continuously submerged the participants in icy water: The drenched Sutter struggled to run from the shoreline while carrying a 30-pound backpack.
"I'm not in great shape and I have asthma. But I can't make excuses; it was just extremely challenging," Sutter admits, as his condition has deteriorated. "My body felt like it was experiencing hypothermia, urging me to turn back."
While riding in the van on the way back to base camp, Sutter reveals that she was shaking so violently that fellow contestants, including Newton and actress Christy Carlson Romano, draped jackets and blankets over her for warmth. "Even the producers, who typically stay hands-off, stepped in," Sutter explains. "I was so grateful to have all these supportive people around me. I realized I needed to get checked by a medic."
At 5:14 a.m. on her third day in Wales, still shrouded in darkness, Sutter appeared to be in a daze following a wake-up call staged as a fake attack. "I believe it's time," she announced on the show before passing her armband, becoming the fourth participant to exit. Although she had contemplated staying, her decision was influenced by the realization that the challenges ahead for the remaining celebrities were only going to become more dangerous. "I’m grateful I chose to leave," Sutter reflects, "because I avoided any serious injuries or broken bones."
She rates her short tenure on the rigorous reality show as the hardest thing she's ever done. "I had a really hard labor. I suffered a seizure some years back. Those experiences were all hard," says Sutter. "But this was all-encompassing hard — emotionally, physically and spiritually. It pushed me to a place I didn't think I could go."
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Sutter, who marked her 21st wedding anniversary on December 6, is comfortable with the fact that audiences have witnessed her in vulnerable and genuine moments of struggle. "I've become less self-conscious compared to how I used to be. While I still deal with insecurities, I don't want to come across as defeated or pitiful, which is likely how I appear on the show. Yet, this is part of the experience I agreed to. I’ve been through the reality show circuit before."
Once she stepped out, Sutter was brought to a cozy hotel room where she could take a warm shower and was handed her phone to check out her husband's affectionate messages on Instagram, along with the uproar on social media. The first thing she did was call Ryan and her children. "Reconnecting with them was everything to me," she shared. "I told them I made it through, even if I didn't last as long as I hoped. But I did it. I felt proud and at ease with my reasons for leaving."
"But you know what really topped it all off — after chatting with my family — was that shower," she remarks. "It was truly the most amazing shower I've ever had."